If you’re navigating a toxic workplace and need support, let’s chat about your options.
Another Monday morning and another battle with the snooze button?
That familiar knot in your stomach.
Maybe it’s more than just the “Monday blues”?
Because we can be real. We know it runs deeper than that.

[Table of Content]

The Silent Struggle of Professional Toxicity

Here you are—keeping your emotions in check and gearing up for another week in a toxic work culture that’s draining the life out of you. Does this sound familiar?
I get it. Having worked in the corporate world of finance, which isn’t exactly a walk in the park… unless that’s a park full of landmines.

  • Nailing your presentation (while secretly feeling like you’re falling apart)

  • Flashing a confident smile in the lift (after crying in the loo)

  • Saying “I’m fine” at lunch (while mentally planning your exit)

  • Leading team calls (with a knot in your stomach)

This was my reality for years. The constant balancing act. The exhausting performance.

When Your Body Knows Before Your Mind

Here’s what nobody tells us:
That heaviness? That anxiety? That sense that something just isn’t right?
It’s not you being “too sensitive” and it’s not a lack of resilience.
It’s your inner wisdom, waving a giant red flag, trying to get your attention.
Research shows that employees in toxic work environments are significantly more likely to experience chronic health conditions and report much higher burnout rates.
What’s particularly striking is how similar the physiological responses are between toxic workplaces and toxic relationships. Your body’s stress response doesn’t differentiate between a controlling boss and a controlling partner—it reads both as threats and responds accordingly.

My Personal Experience: Finance’s Hidden Toxicity

In my years climbing the corporate ladder in asset management, I encountered workplace toxicity in forms that might sound familiar:

  • Being refused language lessons because I was single and therefore “could date people of that nationality” (as if professional development should depend on my marital status)

  • Regularly being talked over in meetings, only to have my ideas repeated by male colleagues to enthusiastic approval

  • Being expected to make the tea in client meetings despite being the financial controller (because I was the only woman in the room)

  • Being denied pay rises because I had taken maternity leave

  • Watching promotion opportunities vanish because I chose family commitments over last-minute evening work events

Each of these incidents seemed “small” in isolation. That’s how toxicity works—it makes you question your perception. “Am I overreacting?” “Is this normal?” “Should I just toughen up?”
Sound familiar?

The Parallel Between Toxic Workplaces and Toxic Relationships

Recognising these patterns in the workplace can also help you spot them in personal relationships—and vice versa. If you’ve endured toxicity before, trust your instincts when they tell you something isn’t right.:

Toxic Relationship Pattern Toxic Workplace Equivalent
Gaslighting (“You’re too sensitive”) “That’s just how business works, you need thicker skin”
Love bombing followed by criticism Praising your work publicly, then tearing it apart privately
Moving goalposts Constantly changing expectations and never being satisfied
Isolation from support Discouraging teamwork or collaborative problem-solving
Financial control Withholding promotions, raises, or development opportunities

Perhaps most telling: both environments leave you questioning your own judgment and feeling like you’re the problem.

Identifying the Red Flags

How do you know if your workplace is truly toxic, or if you’re just going through a challenging period?
Look for these warning signs:
  1. Physical symptoms appear on workdays – Sunday night anxiety, Monday morning stomach issues, headaches that mysteriously disappear on weekends
  2. Communication feels unsafe – Ideas are ridiculed, questions are discouraged, mistakes lead to public shaming
  3. Double standards abound – Rules apply differently depending on who you are or who you know
  4. Success criteria keep changing – What earned praise yesterday becomes inadequate today
  5. Recognition is rare, criticism is constant – Your achievements are minimized while mistakes are magnified
If you’re nodding along to three or more of these, that’s not normal workplace stress—that’s toxicity.
What are the signs of workplace burnout?
Beyond the toxicity indicators, watch for these burnout warning signs:
  • Exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix
  • Cynicism about your work and colleagues
  • Reduced professional efficacy and productivity
  • Difficulty concentrating on tasks you once handled easily
  • Physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, or insomnia
Burnout isn’t just feeling tired—it’s a state of chronic stress that leads to physical and emotional exhaustion, detachment, and feelings of ineffectiveness. And in toxic workplaces, it’s alarmingly common.

The POWER SHIFT Approach: Preserving Your Health While Planning Your Exit

Toxic leadership creates ripple effects throughout an organization. When those at the top model manipulation, blame-shifting, and disrespect, these behaviors become normalized. Understanding that toxic workplace cultures often start at the top can help you recognize that this isn’t about your performance—it’s about systemic issues beyond your control.
When you’re caught in a toxic work environment, immediate exit isn’t always possible. Here’s how to protect yourself while planning your next steps:

1. Pause Before Responding

When faced with toxic behaviour, your first instinct might be to react—to defend yourself, explain, or push back. This often adds fuel to the fire and can damage your professional relationships.
Instead, practice the power pause technique:
  • Take a deep breath
  • Count to five
  • Respond rather than react
This small boundary creates space between stimulus and response, allowing you to maintain your professional presence even in challenging situations.

2. Observe Patterns Objectively

Start documenting incidents that feel wrong. Note dates, times, exact words, and who was present. This serves two purposes:
  • It validates your experience (combating the gaslighting effect)
  • It creates a record should you need it for HR or future discussions

3. Work Boundaries Are Self-Respect

Boundaries at work aren’t optional luxuries—they’re essential protection for your mental health. Just as in personal relationships, boundaries in the workplace safeguard your wellbeing:
  • Set communication hours (when you will and won’t check emails)
  • Define what tasks are within your role and which aren’t
  • Establish how you expect to be addressed and treated
  • Create physical space when possible (even a short walk can reset your energy)
  • Practice saying “no” or “I’ll need to check my schedule” instead of automatic agreement
Remember: Setting boundaries isn’t unprofessional—it’s a sign of professional maturity and self-respect. Your worth isn’t determined by how available you make yourself for exploitation.

4. Establish Your Support Network

Toxic environments thrive on isolation. Counter this by:
  • Building connections with colleagues who share your values
  • Maintaining strong professional relationships outside your company
  • Considering working with a coach who specializes in workplace challenges

5. Recognize Your Exit Timeline

Leaving a toxic job requires strategic planning. Be honest with yourself about your situation. Ask:
  • Is this environment temporarily challenging or permanently toxic?
  • What would need to change for me to feel differently?
  • What’s my financial runway if I needed to leave?
  • What steps can I take today toward creating options for myself?
  • Who in my network could help me identify new opportunities?
  • What skills can I develop now that would make my transition easier?
Sometimes simply acknowledging that you’re developing an exit plan can provide immediate relief. Remember: leaving isn’t failing—it’s choosing your wellbeing and future success.

The Research Is Clear: Toxic Workplaces Impact More Than Your Mood

Workplace mental health isn’t just a trendy HR phrase—it’s a critical component of your overall wellbeing.
According to research published in the British Medical Journal, employees in toxic work environments have a 40% higher risk of developing depression within a year compared to those in supportive workplaces.
Another study from Stanford University found that workplace stress contributes to at least 120,000 deaths per year and accounts for approximately 5-8% of annual healthcare costs in the United States alone.
This isn’t just about feeling uncomfortable on Monday mornings—it’s about your fundamental health and wellbeing.

Your Next Steps: From Surviving to Thriving

So, why are you pushing those feelings down? They’re not your weakness.
They’re your SUPERPOWER—nudging you toward the change you DESERVE.
Because let’s be clear: We’re not just here to survive Mondays. We’re here to PROSPER.
If you’ve recognised yourself in this post, here are three immediate actions you can take:
  1. Start your “Victories Vault” – document every professional win, no matter how small, to maintain perspective on your capabilities outside of the toxic environment
  2. Implement one boundary next week – choose something small but meaningful
  3. Join my email list for regular guidance on navigating high-conflict environments, building resilience, and reclaiming your professional power
Remember: That knot in your stomach isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. Listen to it.
What’s really behind that anxious feeling when your alarm goes off? Share your experience in the comments below, or reach out privately if you prefer. You’re not alone in this journey.

Your mental health and professional future are worth protecting. If you’re navigating a toxic workplace and want support in setting boundaries or planning your next move, let’s chat.

→ Join our supportive community on Facebook.

-Amanda

-High Conflict Separation & Recovery Expert